Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Forced Organization AB
AB = After Baby. There is a very distinct divide between pre-baby and life after baby. You can't anticipate all the ways in which it will change you, you just know from everything you've heard that it will. We couldn't have fully prepared. I tried. I looked for all the answers and fell into the crowd that has them all - the AP crunchy crowd. For me, this was all the appeal. I was overwhelmed, about to enter a foreign and strange land. And I wanted to do well. I wanted to have some advance training in the language, the customs, a roadmap, and these people HAD IT. I think this is why some people are drawn to religious cults. The Mormons and the Jehovah's Witnesses have an answer, no THE answer to every question. What exactly happens after we die? Like moment, by moment, where do we go and what is it like? There is an answer, and there is cause and effect. Gives a great sense of peace, calm and control. If I push button X, then Y will happen. If I co-sleep, then we will all rest and baby will be secure and confident, spouse and I will be well-rested. Good to know. People would warn me about sleepless nights when I was pregnant. I would laugh it off. No, silly, we're CO-SLEEPING. We won't have any of THOSE problems. They'd look at me like "Good luck with that. Are you insane?" Yes. I had all the answers. And then I had a baby.
But I digress. One of the unanticipated side effects of the introduction of baby into our lives was a the urgent need to become more organized. Like, MUCH more organized. Or we didn't eat. Literally. At dinner we'd try our usual routine of What do you want for dinner? Oh I dunno, what do you want? PB this could go on for an hour or two and eventually something would end up cooked and eaten, usually at a restaurant. AB this would go on for 5 minutes and we'd get caught up in other baby routine stuff and then it would be time to collapse in bed. Baby ate, but frequently we didn't. (not that this led to any weight loss. boo.) So in the last few weeks I have, out of survival instinct, devised a schedule for meals for the week. I think its pretty nifty so I'm going to share. Not that anyone who sat down and thought about it for 5 minutes couldn't or wouldn't come up with something similar, but that's just the thing. Sometimes with a baby its hard to sit and think coherently. Maybe its easier to see it on some random person's blog. Here you go.
I do meal shopping for the week on Sunday afternoon. Sometimes Parker goes with me, sometimes he stays home with Daddy.
It's important to plan fresh produce in our diets, but produce doesn't last long. Thus, the freshest, most quickly spoiling things we have the earliest in the week, and the end of the week is for freezer stuff and leftovers. So, we have a big dinner salad on Mondays, with grilled chicken, nuts, cheese, dried cranberries, tossed with dressing. These have become a big hit. Last week, SoggyDad grilled steaks to go with the salad instead of chicken.
Tuesday is ground beef day. Default is meatloaf, but spaghetti is an alternate, or a hamburger helper type thing, with fresh veggies.
Wednesday is pot roast day, with celery, carrots, potatoes, etc Note: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are interchangeable)
Thursday is DH's night to bring home Boston Market or Arby's. He knows what I like there so there is no wondering about what to get.
Friday is bake/cook something out of the freezer night. Chicken Cordon Bleus, Pizza, skillet meal, etc
So this works very well so far, about 4 weeks in. There is just enough choice built in to keep it interesting, but not enough that we have to think too hard. And we mostly get a healthy dinner every night. True, could be healthier, could be better, but we can add levels of complexity later. Sleep is finally getting much better... It is true for us that if we have to think too hard and make decisions, it won't happen. All our creativity and thought goes into figuring out what the hell the baby wants right now. lol. It's a mystery and an obsession. We're getting much better at it now, but until he talks, a lot of burden is on us and our skill in guesswork.
We also plan activities. Like, days and weeks in advance. This I like more than I would have thought, really. I get to look forward to going out on a date night for 3 days, because that's how long in advance we have to line up the babysitter. I have plans to take the family to the Spy Museum this weekend. Again, if we have to plan too much on the fly, nothing exciting happens. We MIGHT end up at the mall, but probably nothing better.
They say babies really thrive on a schedule. I wouldn't have believed this. "Schedule" is sort of a bad word in AP circles. Everything should be "on demand". But when you can't remember how long its been since the baby demanded food (or at least you thought he was demanding food. In any case, he was fed...) you don't know if he's more hungry, or tired, or what... The reality is that babies have so little control over their lives, their ability to communicate is very limited and leads to lots of frustration on both ends. There is something comforting about at least knowing what comes next, and that it is pleasant and predictable. And scheduling ends up being more about anticipating what baby will want before the situation gets critical, than fitting his needs into a box. Yes, scheduling = peace.
True for baby, and true for new parents, too. The thing is, we have had to find our own way. No one can blaze this trail for you, and that's OK because its part of the fun and adventure. Thinking we could simply follow someone else's trail only led to confusion and disappointments. Once I've let that go, there's been a lot more joy.
But I digress. One of the unanticipated side effects of the introduction of baby into our lives was a the urgent need to become more organized. Like, MUCH more organized. Or we didn't eat. Literally. At dinner we'd try our usual routine of What do you want for dinner? Oh I dunno, what do you want? PB this could go on for an hour or two and eventually something would end up cooked and eaten, usually at a restaurant. AB this would go on for 5 minutes and we'd get caught up in other baby routine stuff and then it would be time to collapse in bed. Baby ate, but frequently we didn't. (not that this led to any weight loss. boo.) So in the last few weeks I have, out of survival instinct, devised a schedule for meals for the week. I think its pretty nifty so I'm going to share. Not that anyone who sat down and thought about it for 5 minutes couldn't or wouldn't come up with something similar, but that's just the thing. Sometimes with a baby its hard to sit and think coherently. Maybe its easier to see it on some random person's blog. Here you go.
I do meal shopping for the week on Sunday afternoon. Sometimes Parker goes with me, sometimes he stays home with Daddy.
It's important to plan fresh produce in our diets, but produce doesn't last long. Thus, the freshest, most quickly spoiling things we have the earliest in the week, and the end of the week is for freezer stuff and leftovers. So, we have a big dinner salad on Mondays, with grilled chicken, nuts, cheese, dried cranberries, tossed with dressing. These have become a big hit. Last week, SoggyDad grilled steaks to go with the salad instead of chicken.
Tuesday is ground beef day. Default is meatloaf, but spaghetti is an alternate, or a hamburger helper type thing, with fresh veggies.
Wednesday is pot roast day, with celery, carrots, potatoes, etc Note: Tuesdays and Wednesdays are interchangeable)
Thursday is DH's night to bring home Boston Market or Arby's. He knows what I like there so there is no wondering about what to get.
Friday is bake/cook something out of the freezer night. Chicken Cordon Bleus, Pizza, skillet meal, etc
So this works very well so far, about 4 weeks in. There is just enough choice built in to keep it interesting, but not enough that we have to think too hard. And we mostly get a healthy dinner every night. True, could be healthier, could be better, but we can add levels of complexity later. Sleep is finally getting much better... It is true for us that if we have to think too hard and make decisions, it won't happen. All our creativity and thought goes into figuring out what the hell the baby wants right now. lol. It's a mystery and an obsession. We're getting much better at it now, but until he talks, a lot of burden is on us and our skill in guesswork.
We also plan activities. Like, days and weeks in advance. This I like more than I would have thought, really. I get to look forward to going out on a date night for 3 days, because that's how long in advance we have to line up the babysitter. I have plans to take the family to the Spy Museum this weekend. Again, if we have to plan too much on the fly, nothing exciting happens. We MIGHT end up at the mall, but probably nothing better.
They say babies really thrive on a schedule. I wouldn't have believed this. "Schedule" is sort of a bad word in AP circles. Everything should be "on demand". But when you can't remember how long its been since the baby demanded food (or at least you thought he was demanding food. In any case, he was fed...) you don't know if he's more hungry, or tired, or what... The reality is that babies have so little control over their lives, their ability to communicate is very limited and leads to lots of frustration on both ends. There is something comforting about at least knowing what comes next, and that it is pleasant and predictable. And scheduling ends up being more about anticipating what baby will want before the situation gets critical, than fitting his needs into a box. Yes, scheduling = peace.
True for baby, and true for new parents, too. The thing is, we have had to find our own way. No one can blaze this trail for you, and that's OK because its part of the fun and adventure. Thinking we could simply follow someone else's trail only led to confusion and disappointments. Once I've let that go, there's been a lot more joy.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Birth is Not to be Trusted
It's just not. That's what I've learned. It's not society, it's not culture, it's not hospitals and eeeevil doctors, it's not a lack of support or education that ruins our births for us... its birth that ruins birth for us. Period. Birth sucks and it will kick your ass, and potentially kill you or your baby, and that's just how it is. Birth doesn't care. Birth can get away with killing many many many babies and women because there are many many many more to take your place. It's all the same to Birth.
Same for breastfeeding. None of these booby traps made breastfeeding suck for me. Breastfeeding made breastfeeding suck. There is no one to rail against because I had thrush and pain and misery and blocked ducts and all manner of suckiness associated with breastfeeding.
Nature and natural childbirth without drugs or outside help is a religion for these women. These processes are their god. To call these into question is blasphemy. That is the problem - that is the source of all the mommy tension in the crunchy/uncrunchy dynamic. Problems are someone's fault. Nearly without exception. If you're not experiencing the divine joy that is crunchiness, you're doing it wrong. Or, more generously, your support system or your culture is failing you. Couldn't possibly be that complications happen all the time in childbirth. Couldn't possibly be that - newsflash - breastfeeding actually DOES hurt for some women, despite a good latch...
What I've learned is that even though I wanted a natural birth, what I wanted MORE was a healthy baby, and that trumps everything. I did not blindly follow the religion of crunch so fastidiously that it kept me from the hospital when I needed it. Other women seem so willing to sacrifice their children on this altar, and I don't understand it. Their children die and they continue to worship. Others have children die and they see the light. So tragic. I'm glad my baby is here and healthy, and I cannot continue in a cult that would blame the people that helped me get him here that way....
However, thank god for the crunchy community because, honestly, without them I don't know that I would have felt brave enough to even get pregnant and go through all this to begin with. They made me believe it would be OK, that it would even be beautiful, pleasurable even. I wouldn't have to step foot in a cold, sterile nasty hospital. I was so convinced... I was wrong, but I believed so strongly. But this was one error that was rewarded with a beautiful, strong, silly baby who is the light of my life. And even though I now know the reality of birth, I also know that its worth it. And I'll do it again. Next time without naivete, and without misplaced fears.
Same for breastfeeding. None of these booby traps made breastfeeding suck for me. Breastfeeding made breastfeeding suck. There is no one to rail against because I had thrush and pain and misery and blocked ducts and all manner of suckiness associated with breastfeeding.
Nature and natural childbirth without drugs or outside help is a religion for these women. These processes are their god. To call these into question is blasphemy. That is the problem - that is the source of all the mommy tension in the crunchy/uncrunchy dynamic. Problems are someone's fault. Nearly without exception. If you're not experiencing the divine joy that is crunchiness, you're doing it wrong. Or, more generously, your support system or your culture is failing you. Couldn't possibly be that complications happen all the time in childbirth. Couldn't possibly be that - newsflash - breastfeeding actually DOES hurt for some women, despite a good latch...
What I've learned is that even though I wanted a natural birth, what I wanted MORE was a healthy baby, and that trumps everything. I did not blindly follow the religion of crunch so fastidiously that it kept me from the hospital when I needed it. Other women seem so willing to sacrifice their children on this altar, and I don't understand it. Their children die and they continue to worship. Others have children die and they see the light. So tragic. I'm glad my baby is here and healthy, and I cannot continue in a cult that would blame the people that helped me get him here that way....
However, thank god for the crunchy community because, honestly, without them I don't know that I would have felt brave enough to even get pregnant and go through all this to begin with. They made me believe it would be OK, that it would even be beautiful, pleasurable even. I wouldn't have to step foot in a cold, sterile nasty hospital. I was so convinced... I was wrong, but I believed so strongly. But this was one error that was rewarded with a beautiful, strong, silly baby who is the light of my life. And even though I now know the reality of birth, I also know that its worth it. And I'll do it again. Next time without naivete, and without misplaced fears.
Monday, March 21, 2011
The No-Cry Blocked Duct Solution
OK, I've had a ton of blocked ducts, and am getting to be a real pro at getting rid of them. I've tried lots of tricks, but two of them in conjunction work the best:
1. Take an advil an hour or two before your next pump/feeding. Its anti-inflammatory properties help the clog get out, plus pain killer - yay.
2. Put a hot compress on the spot for a good 20 minutes right before feeding/pumping. Longer if possible. This thins out the fat in the milk and further expands tissues.
Massage gently while feeding/pumping. No more clog.
Most of the crunchy advice skips the Advil part. I think that's why I read so many complaints of it taking several feedings for it to go away. I would take hot showers, pump leaning way over, massage the thing as hard as I could stand it and it would still take a day or two for it to go away. I think the Advil is critical, but of course, that's a drug. Of course, you let these things go long enough they can develop into mastitis, and that's antibiotics. Luckily, I've not had to deal with mastitis yet... knock on wood.
So there you go - anti-inflammatories for clogged ducts.
1. Take an advil an hour or two before your next pump/feeding. Its anti-inflammatory properties help the clog get out, plus pain killer - yay.
2. Put a hot compress on the spot for a good 20 minutes right before feeding/pumping. Longer if possible. This thins out the fat in the milk and further expands tissues.
Massage gently while feeding/pumping. No more clog.
Most of the crunchy advice skips the Advil part. I think that's why I read so many complaints of it taking several feedings for it to go away. I would take hot showers, pump leaning way over, massage the thing as hard as I could stand it and it would still take a day or two for it to go away. I think the Advil is critical, but of course, that's a drug. Of course, you let these things go long enough they can develop into mastitis, and that's antibiotics. Luckily, I've not had to deal with mastitis yet... knock on wood.
So there you go - anti-inflammatories for clogged ducts.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Adventures in No-Sleeping *a-hem* Co-Sleeping
We were told we would not be getting any sleep with a newborn, at which we scoffed knowingly. Ah, but we are going to co-sleep. None of this struggling to get the baby to sleep in his crib in another room all by himself... No, sir. And we will be well rested because of this decision.
HA!
Why, no Mom. No need for you to take a night shift with the baby. We are putting him in bed with us. We'll see you in the morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. You'll see.
HA!
OK, babies sleep like 20 out of 24 hours, waking to eat and then go right back to sleep. Right? How can you not get an abundance of rest if you simply sleep when they sleep? You could get 20 hours of sleep if you want, it would seem. But here's the reality. Baby sleeps in your arms after you breastfeed him to sleep. Then you can't put him down cause he'll wake up. He'll wake up in 30 minutes anyway and want to breastfeed back to sleep again. It's amazing how much sleep this constantly sleeping person can somehow deprive you of, but they are engineered somehow to do this.
The first night went fairly well. Baby was completely passed out. In fact, he went 5 hours without waking and we got worried, so tried to wake him to feed, and with some difficulty, we fed him at 2am. Subsequent nights, this was not an issue. Baby would suddenly start screaming blooy murder - we discovered he went from 0 to starvingangryfamisheddying baby in a second flat. No warning, just sudden and total meltdown. Hubby would deposit him on a pillow on my lap and I would feed him. He'd be asleep within 5 minutes. Ooookay. Move him over beside me and turn out the light and lay down. starvingangryfamisheddying baby instantaneously. Oookay... feed. Asleep in 5 minutes again. Move baby - nope. Okay, feed. Asleep. Wait for baby to be soundly asleep. Veeerrryyy gently try to move... nope. Okay, feed. Asleep. Wait 30 freaking minutes for the baby to be very soundly asleep. Nope. Okay, prop self up with pillows, feed baby asleep, try to sleep sitting up with baby on lap. By the way, intersperse about 10 diaper changes in there.
This was the our cosleeping attempt. We did this for about a week when Mom came back into town and again offered to take a night shift. We were both half-crazed zombies and eagerly agreed this time.
Mom took baby downstairs to the living room where we had a changing table, rocking chair, cradle, two couches and a baby swing. Basically, an uber nursery. I came down every 3 hours to pump and I'd find them curled up on one couch or the other. Or she'd have him in the cradle next to one of the couches. Or he'd be in his swing. But she'd be beside him with a bottle all night, waking every hour or so, but giving us some much needed respite.
When she left again we were not about to reattempt the upstairs cosleeping nightmare from before. No. Downstairs was working for him, it made sense for one person to stay with him and meet his needs while the other got some uninterrupted sleep. So began the shifts.
I would sleep upstairs from 8:30 until midnight or 1, Mike would get him to sleep in his swing, feed him when he would wake, and try to sleep a little in there too. I'd come down at 1 and pump, then Mike would head upstairs and I'd take over downstairs with Parker. I get 3-4 hours sleep upstairs, and another 2-3 downstairs. Altogether, its a survivable, functional amount of cumulative sleep. But is it co-sleeping? Its certainly not the family bed we envisioned. But it works. It's a survival mechanism.
Parker is 4 months now and we still do this. We eagerly look forward to the day he can sleep upstairs and we can all be together. But for now, this keeps us all relatively ok. Parker never cries it out. He's never felt abandoned or alone. I think this is good. But in a month or two we will have to reassess some things and wrap this up...
So that's what is working for us. You have to find what works for you. You might need to employ a little creativity and intuition tho. Read all the books you like. Ultimitely, the baby is in charge. At least for now.
HA!
Why, no Mom. No need for you to take a night shift with the baby. We are putting him in bed with us. We'll see you in the morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. You'll see.
HA!
OK, babies sleep like 20 out of 24 hours, waking to eat and then go right back to sleep. Right? How can you not get an abundance of rest if you simply sleep when they sleep? You could get 20 hours of sleep if you want, it would seem. But here's the reality. Baby sleeps in your arms after you breastfeed him to sleep. Then you can't put him down cause he'll wake up. He'll wake up in 30 minutes anyway and want to breastfeed back to sleep again. It's amazing how much sleep this constantly sleeping person can somehow deprive you of, but they are engineered somehow to do this.
The first night went fairly well. Baby was completely passed out. In fact, he went 5 hours without waking and we got worried, so tried to wake him to feed, and with some difficulty, we fed him at 2am. Subsequent nights, this was not an issue. Baby would suddenly start screaming blooy murder - we discovered he went from 0 to starvingangryfamisheddying baby in a second flat. No warning, just sudden and total meltdown. Hubby would deposit him on a pillow on my lap and I would feed him. He'd be asleep within 5 minutes. Ooookay. Move him over beside me and turn out the light and lay down. starvingangryfamisheddying baby instantaneously. Oookay... feed. Asleep in 5 minutes again. Move baby - nope. Okay, feed. Asleep. Wait for baby to be soundly asleep. Veeerrryyy gently try to move... nope. Okay, feed. Asleep. Wait 30 freaking minutes for the baby to be very soundly asleep. Nope. Okay, prop self up with pillows, feed baby asleep, try to sleep sitting up with baby on lap. By the way, intersperse about 10 diaper changes in there.
This was the our cosleeping attempt. We did this for about a week when Mom came back into town and again offered to take a night shift. We were both half-crazed zombies and eagerly agreed this time.
Mom took baby downstairs to the living room where we had a changing table, rocking chair, cradle, two couches and a baby swing. Basically, an uber nursery. I came down every 3 hours to pump and I'd find them curled up on one couch or the other. Or she'd have him in the cradle next to one of the couches. Or he'd be in his swing. But she'd be beside him with a bottle all night, waking every hour or so, but giving us some much needed respite.
When she left again we were not about to reattempt the upstairs cosleeping nightmare from before. No. Downstairs was working for him, it made sense for one person to stay with him and meet his needs while the other got some uninterrupted sleep. So began the shifts.
I would sleep upstairs from 8:30 until midnight or 1, Mike would get him to sleep in his swing, feed him when he would wake, and try to sleep a little in there too. I'd come down at 1 and pump, then Mike would head upstairs and I'd take over downstairs with Parker. I get 3-4 hours sleep upstairs, and another 2-3 downstairs. Altogether, its a survivable, functional amount of cumulative sleep. But is it co-sleeping? Its certainly not the family bed we envisioned. But it works. It's a survival mechanism.
Parker is 4 months now and we still do this. We eagerly look forward to the day he can sleep upstairs and we can all be together. But for now, this keeps us all relatively ok. Parker never cries it out. He's never felt abandoned or alone. I think this is good. But in a month or two we will have to reassess some things and wrap this up...
So that's what is working for us. You have to find what works for you. You might need to employ a little creativity and intuition tho. Read all the books you like. Ultimitely, the baby is in charge. At least for now.
As terribly fun as that sounds...
Child-led weaning. Purportedly it happens "anytime between 2.5 - 7 years old" and is better for their emotional and mental development.
Do you have any idea how CRAAAAZY you sound? A 7 year old? Still sucking on a mommy's boob? I mean, I hate to judge, but... wow. I'm trying to picture that...
and how ruinous that would be to my marriage, what with my official diagnosis of "Lactational Atrophic Vaginitis" which renders me either a nun or writhing in pain during sex for the duration. We like having his father around, so STFU about him being lucky enough to decide when he's done. We're not doing this for 7 years. We hope to make it 2 more months, but after a year, he's cut off. Why? Cause maybe he'll be "lucky" enough to have a sibling some day and mommy and daddy can't really work on that under present circumstances.
Mommy wars are fun and all... but I've learned this - every baby is different. Every mommy is different. Every family dynamic is different. These supposed studies don't know my situation. I hear how they don't like to consider themselves judgemental - they're just "sad" for you that you're not willing to do the best for your child. "I guess you'll have to decide for yourself if Parker deserves better than trace amounts of rocket fuel." That's not non-judgemental. That's actually pretty damn condescending. I'm only mildly annoyed you think your parenting choices mean you love your baby the right way, and because they don't work for me, I'm not trying hard enough or don't love my baby enough. But only mildly annoyed. Mostly, its beginning to just strike me as funny, and I'm ready to start poking you with a stick. Because rice cereal and formula are not going to hurt my baby when and if he gets them. So are a bunch of other choices that I might make.
poke poke poke
Do you have any idea how CRAAAAZY you sound? A 7 year old? Still sucking on a mommy's boob? I mean, I hate to judge, but... wow. I'm trying to picture that...
and how ruinous that would be to my marriage, what with my official diagnosis of "Lactational Atrophic Vaginitis" which renders me either a nun or writhing in pain during sex for the duration. We like having his father around, so STFU about him being lucky enough to decide when he's done. We're not doing this for 7 years. We hope to make it 2 more months, but after a year, he's cut off. Why? Cause maybe he'll be "lucky" enough to have a sibling some day and mommy and daddy can't really work on that under present circumstances.
Mommy wars are fun and all... but I've learned this - every baby is different. Every mommy is different. Every family dynamic is different. These supposed studies don't know my situation. I hear how they don't like to consider themselves judgemental - they're just "sad" for you that you're not willing to do the best for your child. "I guess you'll have to decide for yourself if Parker deserves better than trace amounts of rocket fuel." That's not non-judgemental. That's actually pretty damn condescending. I'm only mildly annoyed you think your parenting choices mean you love your baby the right way, and because they don't work for me, I'm not trying hard enough or don't love my baby enough. But only mildly annoyed. Mostly, its beginning to just strike me as funny, and I'm ready to start poking you with a stick. Because rice cereal and formula are not going to hurt my baby when and if he gets them. So are a bunch of other choices that I might make.
poke poke poke
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I'm dismissive, so why won't you go away...
So the podcast "Parenting Within Reason" did an interesting enough interview with Dr Amy that I decided to give a very open minded listen to their hour long FAQ on vaccines, on which they are pro. Sadly, I found them to be barely coherent, smarmy sneering idiots on the topic, knocking down strawman after strawman and even giving outright misinformation (sterility is a *common* complication of mumps. Is 1 in 10,000 what you would call common?) And they brought up Andrew Wakefield's shortcomings as proof that vaccines are safe. Strawman strawman strawman.
Now, I'm willing to reconsider a lot of things. I will listen to reason. But before you and I talk vaccines, I'm afraid you'll have to pass this quiz I have formulated to screen out morons who don't know what they are talking about, or at least know less than me - in which case, why would I listen to you? Here we go:
1. What is the epidermis and what its role in protecting the body from enviromental toxins?
a. Where is approximately 80% of the body's immune function located?
b. Name at least one major filtration system in the body that a vaccine would encounter when injected into the body? (Note: this is a trick question)
c. In light of this, is there any merit to pointing out how many environmental toxins a normal, non-intravenous drug using person encounters every day/how much aluminum there is in formula/breastmilk/a tuna fish sandwich during a vaccine discussion?
d. Would you consider a pureed tuna fish sandwich a safely injectable substance? Why or why not? (Note: If you answered yes, please put down your pencil and hand in your paper. We are done talking.)
2. Who is Russell Blaylock and what is his profession?
3. Who wrote the paper entitled "Tobacco Science and the Thimerosal Scandal"?
4. What is glutathione?
a. What is the effect of Tylenol on glutathione?
5. Discuss the origins of herd immunity theory.
6. What does VAERS stand for?
7. Where did Bill Gates receive his medical training? (Note: also a trick question)
8. What is the safe level of aluminum in mcg for IV solutions for newborns per day according to the FDA?
a. What is the maximum cumulative amount of aluminum in mcg that a 2 month old following the CDC immunization schedule could receive in one day?
9. The vaccine industry touts the statistic that 50,000 Americans die from vaccine preventable diseases every year. What disease makes up the bulk of this statistic and in what age group?
10. What is the efficacy rate of the flu vaccine?
11. Is the flu a vaccine preventable disease?
12. What other condition mimics autism almost exactly? So exactly in fact, you'd swear they were the same thing?
13. Autism is one thing anti-vaxxers are concerned about. Name at least 5 other conditions that are a concern to them.
14. Would an anti-vaxxer be more worried about vaccinating their son or daughter and why?
15. At approximately what age does the blood-brain barrier develop?
16. What common vaccine still contains thimerosal?
17. Name 3 vaccine ingredients besides aluminum and thimerosal.
18. When was thimerosal removed from the MMR?
a. Please explain why this is a trick question:
19. When was the last case of Polio in the US and how was it acquired?
20. Please explain what a live virus vaccine is and name two vaccines that are live virus.
21. What is an adjuvant?
That's enough for now. I'll add more later as I think of them.
Now, I'm willing to reconsider a lot of things. I will listen to reason. But before you and I talk vaccines, I'm afraid you'll have to pass this quiz I have formulated to screen out morons who don't know what they are talking about, or at least know less than me - in which case, why would I listen to you? Here we go:
1. What is the epidermis and what its role in protecting the body from enviromental toxins?
a. Where is approximately 80% of the body's immune function located?
b. Name at least one major filtration system in the body that a vaccine would encounter when injected into the body? (Note: this is a trick question)
c. In light of this, is there any merit to pointing out how many environmental toxins a normal, non-intravenous drug using person encounters every day/how much aluminum there is in formula/breastmilk/a tuna fish sandwich during a vaccine discussion?
d. Would you consider a pureed tuna fish sandwich a safely injectable substance? Why or why not? (Note: If you answered yes, please put down your pencil and hand in your paper. We are done talking.)
2. Who is Russell Blaylock and what is his profession?
3. Who wrote the paper entitled "Tobacco Science and the Thimerosal Scandal"?
4. What is glutathione?
a. What is the effect of Tylenol on glutathione?
5. Discuss the origins of herd immunity theory.
6. What does VAERS stand for?
7. Where did Bill Gates receive his medical training? (Note: also a trick question)
8. What is the safe level of aluminum in mcg for IV solutions for newborns per day according to the FDA?
a. What is the maximum cumulative amount of aluminum in mcg that a 2 month old following the CDC immunization schedule could receive in one day?
9. The vaccine industry touts the statistic that 50,000 Americans die from vaccine preventable diseases every year. What disease makes up the bulk of this statistic and in what age group?
10. What is the efficacy rate of the flu vaccine?
11. Is the flu a vaccine preventable disease?
12. What other condition mimics autism almost exactly? So exactly in fact, you'd swear they were the same thing?
13. Autism is one thing anti-vaxxers are concerned about. Name at least 5 other conditions that are a concern to them.
14. Would an anti-vaxxer be more worried about vaccinating their son or daughter and why?
15. At approximately what age does the blood-brain barrier develop?
16. What common vaccine still contains thimerosal?
17. Name 3 vaccine ingredients besides aluminum and thimerosal.
18. When was thimerosal removed from the MMR?
a. Please explain why this is a trick question:
19. When was the last case of Polio in the US and how was it acquired?
20. Please explain what a live virus vaccine is and name two vaccines that are live virus.
21. What is an adjuvant?
That's enough for now. I'll add more later as I think of them.
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