So going through my cabinets looking for gripe water to soothe my little one's umpteenth gas episode and I find a box of "No More Milk" tea I so presciently ordered for myself months ago, I guess as a little pre partum gift, permission to stop the insanity at any time. I had low expectations for myself. I was dreading just exactly this most of all and I found myself a way to stop it. I set it out on the countertop and I keep staring at it and my tea kettle, and then erupting in fresh tears. Why is it so heartbreaking to just... STOP.
Stop stop stop. Stop the tears, the pain, the pumping, the indignity of it all. Just stop. Make the tea and ramp it down. The engorgement might take a couple more hours to come. A little more rest, a little more sanity. I've been giving Wiley formula since early this afternoon and after I had a bite to eat myself, we've both settled down a bit.
And I just had the brilliant idea to swaddle him aaaand he's sleeping. awww... such an angel when he sleeps!