Saturday, March 12, 2011

Not tonight, honey, I have a breastfeeding...

What they don't tell you about the prime sacrament of crunchiness, breastfeeding, is that it can really mess up your sex life. I mean really. Apparently increasing oxytocin and decreasing estrogen can be a deadly combination for some women. Breastmilk douses libido and even makes sex excruciatingly painful. I seriously thought something was wrong with me and asked my doctor about it. I thought something had prolapsed. I contacted endocrinologists about my hormone levels. No, this all just comes with the breastfeeding territory. Between the hormones and the fact that my body is socking every last drop of moisture available into my boobs, guess what?

My previously hardcore pro-breastfeeding hubby, upon learning these facts was like - Right, formula it is. kidding, but...

This, we were not prepared for. We were expecting the requisite 6 week postpartum recovery period. It's now been 4 months. I know I'm not the only one. But those breastfeeding nazis don't talk about this a lot because they don't like to talk about the things that would discourage women from breastfeeding. I guess it doesn't happen to everyone... Just special women like me for whom Murphy's Law in crunchiness applies.

But back when I was stockpiling all that St. John's Wort and witch hazel and castor oil I didn't need, I could have also stocked up on heavy duty lubricants as well.

I want to find those women who guiltily slink back into the bedroom after 4 weeks instead of waiting all 6 and wring their lucky little necks. (hee hee, we just couldn't wait! *blush*) Same with every Facebook update I see of "A perfect peaceful home water birth! Enjoying our babymoon!" If I was a generous soul I could find it in my heart to be happy for these people. Sometimes I'm just mad at what they made me expect that I didn't get.

I was set up.

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